Over the next small hurdle, getting my doctor to write an official letter to the surgical/referral/bariatric board (at this point I'm not sure who is who) on my behalf and stating her opinion that I need surgery. I did find several sites online that provide sample letters that I can use to write mine, once I have the doctor's letter (and hopefully my previous doctor too).

Even though it's a step forward, all day today I've been feeling bummed out and grumpy. I have this thought in my mind that this is going to drag out forever, which is kind of funny considering I only started the process a week ago. It also feels like my time limit of 180 days to get the appeal sent will go by so fast, especially when much of that time will be spent waiting for something else to happen.

I tell myself to just chill out, take things as they come, deal with one day at a time. My brain has a hard time with that most of the the time. I need instant gratification in most things and dealing with anything health related has never provided me with instant gratification; more like a slow tortured existence with relief just beyond my reach. Granted I've had two previous major surgeries (brain surgery and breast reduction) that worked out wonderfully in the long run so I really should stop whining. But I want to whine. After dealing with my weight my whole life, I feel entitled to whine every once in awhile. I work through the frustrations because I know I am strong when I really need to be. Ultimately, the only one you can truly rely on is yourself, right?